Sunday, 9 December 2007

In Denial

If there's one thing that pisses me off about modern-day women - and there's not, there's about a trillion things that pisses me off about them, but as the pubs are opening soon and I'm thirsty, I'll just concentrate on one of them - it's their abject horror and seemingly sincere outrage at being labelled goldiggers or parasites.

On a few occasions at my various workplaces, I've been so bold as to suggest that women are basically goldiggers and only interested in money, only to be met with wide-eyed shock and teeth-gnashing fury from the women.

This despite the fact that they've all regularly provided regular evidence to back up my opinion.

I don't know whether it's a sincere case of double-think and hypocrisy, or just a non-too-subtle attempt at diverting male attention away from the obvious truth, but either way, women I encounter just flat out deny any accusation of goldiggerism, even moments after proving me correct.

For example, I once overheard three women at work going on about a certain footballer who is not exactly renowned for his good looks - but who earns about a zillion pounds a week - and they all agreed they would marry him "even though he's ugly" because he's rich.

"You'll get half his fortune when you divorce him," one observed.

There was much nodding in agreement all round.

That same afternoon there was a brief discussion about marriage, and I put forth my opinion that I didn't want to marry, because women are only interested in money, and they only want rich guys so they can divorce them and get half their cash.

There was much tutting, accusations of cynicism and predictable cries of "I would never do that" all round.

Fucking hell. Can't they at least admit it? That they're only interested in a rich man, and they would only love the 'rich' part of him, not the 'man' part?

It's an egregious insult to us men's intelligence that women will swear blind they don't care about how much a man earns or that they would never marry for money, when invariably they state the contrary every waking hour.

It's just as stupidly hypocritical the way many women will denounce us men as useless and nothing more than tiresome burden they want nothing to do with, and yet, in the same breath, will wail with victimised despair at their never-ending spinsterhood.

Bollocks to them all. I'm off to the pub.

Actually, I'd better check with my wife whether it's okay for me to go to the pub. Y'see, she wanted me to take her to Ikea later to this afternoon, she wants a newer and more expensive coffee table, and I'm not sure if I've got enough beer money this month anyway after my wife went overboard with her store-cards this week doing Christmas shopping and...

...oh wait, I've just remembered; I'm not married!

So I can spend the afternoon in the pub if I feel like it without having to ask permission from any-fucking-one.



Anonymous said...

Women want rich men.

They even run for pimps, they run for bad boys and whore with them when they are 14.

When women do porn or get undressed on the web, when young girls show off on youtube dancing, are they doing that because someone is forcing them to do it?

No - they have fun. It is something they enjoy.

Men are attracted to gorgeous young women, women instinctively know that and trade their beauty for money.

At least their is one positive thing about it: a rich man can get any woman he wants...

Martin said...

I've seen guys having to borrow money down the pub because their "wives" won't give them any pocket money. How pathetic is that?

Anonymous said...

More female empowerment BS:

Women are top tech shoppers

"John Lewis said that electrical gadgets were more fun for women than ever before and no longer had a male, geeky image."

Anonymous said...

I AM NOT A GOLDdIGGER - I just want your money:

The 5 Biggest Dating Mistakes That Men Make;_ylc=X3oDMTFmaGNkdDNpBF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawN0aGUtNS1iaWdnZXN0BHp6A2Fi

3. Men Aren't Chivalrous. The lines here are not always clear. We want you to treat us like equals, but we also want you to treat us like women. It's nice when a man picks up the tab or makes sure his date gets home safely. It may be old-fashioned, but a number of women report that dating a gentleman matters.


I am by no means a gold-digger and hold my own, but if a guy doesn't get the tab 9-10 times I most likely would never see him again. I have no problem picking up tabs for drinks, appetizers, etc... on the first few dates & more if he is clearly showing an effort.

The same woman wants her husband to earn more than she does:

Hey, women are emancipated today!


I used to be.

Anonymous said...

Kany West made a song called golddigger. Unbelievabel, but he understands what is going on.

She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car crib is bigger than his

And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his?

Golddigger Lyrics
Artist(Band):Kanye West
Review The Song (46) Print the Lyrics

Send polyphonic ringtone to your cell phone

[Jamie Foxx]
She take my money, well I'm in need
Yeah she's a triflin' friend indeed
Oh she's a gold digger way over time
That digs on me

(She steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas (She steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas(I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head

[Verse 1:]
[Jamie Foxx's lyrics repeated across verse]
Cutie the bomb
Met her at a beauty salon
With a baby Louis Vuitton
Under her under arm
She said I can tell you rock
I can tell by ya charm
Far as girls you got a flock
I can tell by ya charm and ya arm
but I'm lookin' for the one
have you seen her?
My psychic told me she'll have a ass like Serena
Trina, Jennifer Lopez, four kids
An' I gotta take all they bad ass to show-biz
Okay get ya kids but then they got they friends
I pulled up in the Benz, they all got up in
We all went to din and then I had to pay
If you fuckin' with this girl then you betta' be paid
You know why
Take too much to touch her
From what I heard she got a baby by Busta
My best friend say she used to fuck with Usher
I don't care what none of y'all say I still love her

(she steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas (she steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head

[Verse 2:]
[Jamie Foxx's lyrics repeated across verse]
18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was supposed to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin' around lookin' like Michael with ya money
Shoulda' got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey(your money)
If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo' ass she gon' leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his?

(she steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas (she steal me money)
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)
but she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head get down (I gotta leave)
Get down girl, go 'head

Now I ain't sayin' you a gold digger, you got needs
You want a dude to smoke, but he can't buy weed
You go out to eat, can't pay, y'all can't leave
There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves
But while y'all washin', watch him
He gon' make it to a Benz out of that Datsun
He got that ambition, baby look in his eyes
(Jamie Foxx comes in)
This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's the fries
So, stick by his side
I know this dude's ballin, and yeah that's nice
And they gon' keep callin' and tryin'
But you stay right, girl
But when you get on, he leave yo' ass for a white girl

Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head get down
Get down girl, go 'head
(She take my money)
Let me hear that back

Anonymous said...

Historically, there was no requirement to obtain a marriage license in colonial America. When you read the laws of the colonies and then the states, you see only two requirements for marriage. First, you had to obtain your parents permission to marry, and second, you had to post public notice of the marriage 5-15 days before the ceremony.

The state does not respect and protect marriage anymore, so if you marry do not get a state license.

Anonymous said...

Man gets beaten up, police arrest him, never questions him, woman lies.

Anonymous said...

Sob, I need a man for my child, sob. He is the father.

Anonymous said...

Sob, I need a man for my child. I had sex since 13, and I have no doubt he is the father.

And look: the man here is quiet and the women scream and growl.

Of course he is not the father and she begins shouting insults.

MarkyMark said...


Nice to have you back, Buddy! I too have noticed the same thing with women; they talk amongst themselves how they'd marry someone famous because he's rich, yet deny it to your face when you say the same thing. I don't understand it. All I can say is that women's minds are FULL of cognitive dissonance...


Anonymous said...

well i think u are a deadset fuckin poof u couldn't find love if u where try 2 if u like beer better than a women u hav some deep and meaningfuls 2 deal with as in get your hand off your cock and get to know reality that is that women like to be indepentant and secure. so with this ofcourse comes some analyising but mate if your going to fall inlove who the fuck cares about how much money u make well get a grip and don't put all your eggs in one basket ok

Uzem & Luzem said...

As a whole, cunts have irrevocably lost all credibiltiy with me so who cares what they say or think because they are only deluding themselves and the suckers.

As a hole however, I still find the hot ones to be quite appealing and useful.

Observant men know the truth about these gold digging cock suckers and wise men have absolutely nothing to do with them unless it is "mission critical" (whether the mission is keeping your job or snagging a fine peice of tail).

The good news is that more and more men seem to be cluing in.

Anonymous said...


Hmh said...

Another great post Duncan. You're right:

Just being free is HUGE.

Mmm, beer.

Anonymous said...

"Whatever the case, the worry is that since for most women in our society marriage, conception and children are connected - consciously or not - there is a danger that by the time a woman decides that marriage is not for her she may have left it too late to have the child she so desperately wants."

Anonymous said...

Mangina alerts:

Hmh said...

Just the other day I saw a rather nice car - a Merc CLK I think - parked up. It had a personalised plate on it: WAZ HIZ

Christ, there are some bloody awful women around at the moment.

Hmh said...

Anon 21:15 -

How old are you? And have you finished your homework yet?

Now either learn, think, and contribute... or fuck off.

Hawaiian Libertarian said...

Women are hypocritical because they fail to connect the behavior with the label...because any particular woman that is either a slut or a gold digger, well, she uses her backward rationalization and feeling-based morality to convince herself that even though she's slept with 100 men, she's not a "slut" like those other women that have done the same -- or that even though she married a man she is not physically attracted to but is wealthy, she is "different" from all the other gold diggers.

These women hide from the ugly truth by telling themselves such beautiful lies!

Anonymous said...

I've worked with men whose wives would show up on payday to collect their paychecks. These men never had a penny on them. Buying a soda, a freaking soda, was a treat for them.

They could forget about eating out for lunch as they brown bagged it with bologna sandwiches.

These guys would bust ass all week long and then get an "allowance" from their wives.

And these totally fucking worthless pussy-whipped morons all had the ugliest, fattest hags for wives.

Oh, and thank the heavens you've returned Duncan.

You were greatly missed.

Hmh said...

I've just heard about something that can only be described as Gold-Digging Extreme. Remember Micheal Flatley? I got this news today:

Dance star Michael Flatley has won a $US11 million ($NZ14.34m) settlement in the United States from a woman who falsely accused him of sexual assault and attempted to extort money from him, he said.

Flatley, the former star of the Irish dance spectacle Riverdance, has achieved international acclaim with his own shows, Lord of the Dance, Feet of Flames and Celtic Tiger.

He said he had been awarded the damages over malicious claims made against him by Tyna Marie Robertson, a real estate agent.

"Robertson tried to extort money from me by spreading these lies and the court sent a message that it will not tolerate these types of schemes," Flatley said.

Robertson had originally alleged Flatley raped her in a Las Vegas hotel in 2002 and threatened to file a sexual assault lawsuit unless Flatley agreed to pay a "seven figures" settlement.

Police declined to press criminal charges and Flatley said the sex was consensual.

Robertson then filed a $US33m civil sexual assault lawsuit in Illinois, but it was later dismissed. Flatley countered with a lawsuit claiming extortion, fraud and defamation. - AP

He said, she said... but he managed to win it!!

" - unless he agreed to pay a seven figures settlement." This is extortion by police, pure and simple, and frankly I think she should be serving hard time as well as coughing up 11 million.

Good luck getting that 11 mill, though, Mr Flatley.

Hmh said...

Martin - absolutely right mate - the number of so-called husbands who aren't allowed "whatever" that I've seen... it's utter bollocks. Who in their right mind wants to sign up to that?

Anonymous said...

I work in a medical office and am surrounded by women. The few that appeal to me are the Mexican women. As far as the others, I try to avoid. There is a man-hating dyke that calls me the devil, all because she caught me admiring a nice ass. Shouldn't she give me a high five as she's into it too. Nope, they don't think that way. Another western woman gives me looks like she wants to rip my balls out. There's several older, divorced, cat lovers. A man I was chatting with groaned about buying a custom matching necklace and earrings for his wife. I didn't say anything negative because there were women around. I don't dare mention anything bad about women or I would be lynched by a bunch of nasty, hormone-crazed bitches. But the Mexicans...old and young (not the Americanized, non-Spanish speaking) but the ESL ones. They are the ones to go after.

Anonymous said...

Historically, there was no requirement to obtain a marriage license in colonial America. When you read the laws of the colonies and then the states, you see only two requirements for marriage.

In fact, they were three requirements. The two you have mention and the third: being so silly to trade your freedom for a dominating and manipulative woman.

phoenix said...

There are no shortage of manginas that will literally beg and bribe a woman to run his life and take his money.

And even, if it's possible, when there are? There are no shortage of manginas that will criticize other men and look for ways to screw over other men for these old princesses.

Men are our greatest enemy in combating feminism. Steinem and the other idiots were not pioneers. Women have thought this way throughout history and in every race, it is just the mangina quotient was lower, and they were silenced. Now? The manginas are the majority and have tried to silence most men. That's why it's great to have Duncan back. A lot of blogs closed down or are barely updated these days, maybe Dunan's return will inspire others to post agian.

Anonymous said...

hey, you should chat me up sometime!

Brendan said...


Check out D.V. ad (reversed) on Youtube

Anonymous said...

In fact, the most depressing thing of this kind of behaviour is that, when women scream filled with indignation "I would never do this", they actually believe it. It is not hypocrisy.

Duncan, you are trying to be logical with women. Women are not logical (at least, concerning personal matters). Women are EMOTIONAL.

It is easy. Let me explain you.

A woman wonder whether she prefers rich men -> She imagines herself in a luxury house with 20 servants -> GOOD FEELING -> So she says: "I want to marry a rich guy"

A woman is labelled as goldigger (a negative concept)-> BAD FEELING -> She thinks "What if I am not a goldigger" -> GOOD FEELING -->So she says: "I am not a goldigger".

Emotion predates and drives logical statements. A woman can perfectly say the two sentences in italics with a difference of seconds. This makes no sense from a logical (that is, male) point of view, but they make sense from a emotional point of view, because both statements are emotionally sound (they give good feelings).

Women think making sense is not necessary. This is why it is so difficult to argue with a feminist. She doesn't have to give arguments, she only recurs to shaming language.

When a woman wants to make sense she has two techniques:

a)Deny she wants to marry a rich man. I saw the gorgeous and young wife of Phil Collins telling that she married him because she falled in love with him (of course, the money hasn't nothing to do with it so she would have falled in love with the old homeless who has the same age than Phil Collins).

b) Try to rationalize. "Well, in fact, I don't want to marry a rich man because I am a goldigger, but because I am so responsible that I want my future children to grow up in the best environment possible".

Responsible -> GOOD FEELING

This is why women have a high concept of themselves, they think they are victims, they always like to picture themselves as a nice girls --> GOOD FEELING , this is why they are allergic to guilt, be blamed and, in general, responsibility --> BAD FEELING.

Insane, huh? Well, women are insane.

Anonymous said...

Gents, when you get a chance, listen to this ...

The file is a 30MB MP3 of a "progressive" talk show.

Scroll down towards the bottom to where it says 'Tuesday, December 11th, 2007' and right click 'Save As'.

This will allow you to save the file so you can skip ahead instead of listening to the whole show. I actually recommend listening to the whole show ... it's filled with socialist wackiness.

This one has it all.

First off, this guy is a massive mangina. I usually turn on the radio when I'm making dinner and this guy was on. Once he started bashing the patriarchy, I had to listen and couldn't turn it off.

During the show, he advocates population control by empowering women, bashes/blames the patriarchy for global warming and overpopulation. Manginas call in. Feminists call in. There's mention of patriarchy cosmology, misogyny in painting, and patriarchy being sociopathic!!! Of course, all problems are solved by empowering women.

I've listed some time markers below that you can skip ahead to.


First part of the show is a discussion about overpopulation. You may find this entertaining, if not skip ahead:

@ 0:52:04 - Population decline/stabilization is due to women having equal rights &
equal power with men. If women have no equal rights to men = population explosion. "worldwide empowerment of women is the only thing that reduces population & reduces
global warming"

@ 00:57:05 - Sociopathic Patriarchy is destroying the planet!

@ 01:03:40 - Mangina Scott calls in and says having his wife take care of him is "empowering". "World would be better if more men were like him."

@ 01:15:30 - Bernard ... misogyny in culture via painting & nature!

@ 01:42:20 - Aberdeen, WA Tripper tells us about ... Patriarchy cosmology! We're gonna be moving from patriarchy energy to feminine energy soon!

@ 01:47:00 - empowerment of women = population control "where did you find this information?" Host cites some sources and "common sense".

Anonymous said...

Abused husband wilts before kickboxing wife

After years of ill treatment at the hands of his wealthy businesswoman wife, a henpecked husband from Longjin, Jilin Province, reached the end of his patience and attempted to sue for divorce.

However, at a hearing last week, Song, the wife, shouted at Qi, the husband, ordering him to go home and excoriating him for the loss of face she had suffered.

At the end of the tongue-lashing, Qi turned and left the court without saying a word. Later, he admitted that his wife, a well-trained kickboxer, forced him to do housework and often beat him badly at home because: "I did not earn enough to support the family."

VoodooJock said...

It's getting to the point where women's word is about as worthless as tits on a boar hog. They'll say anything to minimize their short term pain and maximize their short term gain.

Someone who is not held to the same standard as men should not be accorded the same rights as men.

Anonymous said...

Coincidentally hit the link after some months of grief and sadness.

Glad you are back, Duncan.

Anonymous said...

I can hardly believe you're back. I was reading some of your old postings the last few days that I had copied off before you disappeared, and figured I would have to content myself with that.


You have a flair for writing like few I have encountered, and it would be a shame to lose you again. You'll occasionally hit dry spells; that's the norm. But, don't disappear again. Your comments are simply to valuable to too many people. I don't know if you realize the impact you have had. I referred MANY men to your site, and it was a damn shame when you went away.

Anyhoo, good to have you back.

Christopher, The Ultimate Misogynist from Oregon

Richierich said...

Denile is not just a river in Egypt.

Anonymous said...

"Christopher, The Ultimate Misogynist from Oregon"

Christopher! I was wondering where you went. You are nearly as entertaining as Duncan. The two of you (and a few others) really made this blog worth reading.

Anonymous said...

Dear eternalbachelor, there are not many things that can top what we know about divorce. At least for me, I thought it could not be worse.

Well, I was mistaken.

I recommend this heartbreaking and extremely frightening article.

It is baout men who were so proud to have a family, but who got betrayed. One had to shit in the woods, because his ex did not let him use the bathroom.

One in four men who will get divorced this year don't have any clue that it's coming. Here's how to avoid that surprise.

By: John Sedgwick; Photographs: Matthu Placek
Oct 10, 2007 - 10:40:59 PM

sudden divorce syndrome Like every husband who suddenly turns into an ex, Martin Paul, a pleasant, unassuming 51-year-old, knows exactly where he was when it happened. He was sitting on the back porch of his pricey hilltop house in the Boston suburbs one sunny Saturday morning, relaxing over coffee.

Paul is a professional collector, primarily of coins, but of other rare objects as well: Sonny Liston’s ring belt; a submarine that appeared in the James Bond film The Spy Who Loved Me. It wasn’t easy to build up his collecting business, but he had finally got it humming, and he was pulling down close to seven figures a year. Plus, the oldest of his three sons had suffered a frightening brain injury, but after two years of treatment, he had finally recovered enough to go to college. For the first time in a very long while, life was good.

And so, that Saturday, he wanted to tell his wife he was thinking about finally easing off a little. They’d started going on expensive vacations in Europe and Hawaii, and he figured she’d be pleased at the prospect of taking more trips together, or at least at the prospect of seeing him around the house a little more, and not buried in his basement office. He had met her in graduate school over a quarter century ago, and they’d had their ups and downs, but he was still crazy about her. And he thought that, with a little more time together, she’d be crazy about him again too.

But no. She scarcely listened to any talk of retirement, or of vacations, or of anything he had to say. She had plans of her own.

“I want a divorce,” she said.

Paul was so stunned that he thought he must have misheard her. But her face told him otherwise. “She looked like the enemy,” he says. He started to think about everything he’d built: the thriving business, the wonderful family, the nice life in the suburbs. And he thought of her, and how much he still loved her. And then, right in front of her, he started to cry.

That night, he found a bottle of whiskey, and he didn’t stop drinking it until he nearly passed out.

Things turned shitty very fast. His wife took out a temporary restraining order, accusing him of attempting to kidnap their youngest son. The claim was never proved in court. Then, with the aid of some high-priced lawyers, she extracted from him a whopping $50,000 a month—a full 75 percent of his monthly income. Barred from the house, he was not allowed regular access to the office he used to generate that income. (On the few times he was permitted inside, his wife did not let him use the bathroom. She insisted that he go outside in the woods.) “My lawyer kept telling her lawyers, ‘You’re killing the Golden Goose,’ ” recalls Paul. “But they didn’t care.”

Crushed by the payments, and unable to work, he soon faced such a severe cash-flow crisis that he had to declare bankruptcy. His wife still did not relent. She charged that Paul had been abusive toward one of their sons. Paul says the charge is absurd, but it did its work, limiting his visitation rights.

sudden divorce syndrome Paul was sleepless and nerve wracked; his spirits plunged. He still missed his old life with his family. He missed the sound of it—the bustle of all the activity, the life. “I can’t stand the silence,” he says. “I miss hearing my wife breathe as she lay in bed beside me.” In his desperation, he twice overdosed on prescription medication, but managed to call 911 each time before the drugs took full effect, and medics rushed him to the hospital in time. “I don’t want to die,” he says wearily. “I want to live. But I can’t live with this torture.” He did manage to keep a few mementos of his former life. Pictures, mostly. But also the kids’ baby shoes. “I was always the emotional one,” he says. “But that’s all I have—the shoes, a few pictures. That’s all. I used to be jovial, happy. But not now. I’m a broken man.”

Sudden Divorce Syndrome. You won’t find it in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, that bible of psychiatric illnesses, but you will find it in life. In a 2004 poll by the AARP, one in four men who were divorced in the previous year said they “never saw it coming.” (Only 14 percent of divorced women said they experienced the same unexpected broadside.) And few events in a man’s life can be as devastating to his physical, mental, and financial health.

“I meet men all the time who are going through breakups, and it’s very common for them to say it caught them by surprise,” says Los Angeles–based sex therapist Lori Buckley, PsyD, host of “On the Minds of Men,” a weekly relationship podcast on iTunes. The warning signs are usually there, claims Buckley, but the male mind is simply not very adept at recognizing them. “When women make up their mind that the relationship is over, they stop talking about the relationship,” she says. “Men interpret a woman’s lack of complaining as satisfaction. But more often, it’s because she’s simply given up.”

To understand how common this scenario is, consider figures provided by John Guidubaldi, a former member of the U.S. Commission on Child and Family Welfare. Nationwide, Guidubaldi reports, wives are the ones to file for divorce 66 percent of the time, and, in some years, that figure has soared to nearly 75 percent. “It is easier to end a marriage than it is to fire an employee,” says Guidubaldi. If she wants out, it’s over. “You can get a dissolution of marriage on the basis of nothing.”

Oftentimes, men have a divorce sprung on them in midlife, when their kids are more self-sufficient and they’ve finally started to think they were over the hump. Like Martin Paul, they could start to relax. But that’s exactly the time of life when the instance of divorce begins to swell (another occurs shortly after marriage). Joe Cordell, of the law firm Cordell and Cordell, which specializes in ­representing men in domestic cases, attributes this to wives deciding as they approach age 40 that it’s now or never for getting back into the marriage market. It’s the same phenomenon as rich guys trading in their long-time partners for trophy wives. Only it’s the women who are shedding men.

It didn’t used to be this way. While divorce has been legal for nearly two centuries, it was long a topic of such mortification that it was considered a last, desperate resort. The 1960s changed all that. The free-love decade both increased the inclination to divorce and dropped the social resistance to it. The rising financial independence of women began to free them from a need to stay in a stultifying or abusive marriage. As a result, divorce soared, doubling by most measures. But the stereotypical divorce story—man marries, starts a family, meets a younger women, and leaves his wife—just isn’t as common as we are led to believe.

“Marriage changes men more pervasively and more profoundly than it changes women,” explains sociologist Steven Nock, author of Marriage in Men’s Lives. “The best way to put it is, marriage is for men what motherhood is for women.” Marriage makes men grow up. Nock observes that many men before marriage are indifferent workers, and, after hours, are likely to be found in bars or zoned out in front of a TV. After marriage, they are solid wage earners, frequent churchgoers, maybe members of a neighborhood protection association. But divorce takes that underpinning away, leaving men strangely infantilized and unsure of their place in the world. They feel like interlopers in the stands at their children’s soccer games or in the auditorium for their school plays.

Compounding this pain, men find the deck is stacked against them. The divorce system tends to award wives custody of the children, substantial child support, the marital home, half the couple’s assets, and, often, heavy alimony payments.

This may come as startling news to a public that has been led to believe that women are the ones who suffer financially postdivorce, not men. But the data show otherwise, according to an exhaustive study of the subject by Sanford L. Braver, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University and author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths. “The man is in a lot poorer condition than the popular media portray,” he says. “This idea of the swinging, happy-go-lucky, no-worries single guy in a bar…that’s just not it at all.” The misconception was fueled by Harvard professor Lenore Weitzman’s widely cited book, The Divorce Revolution: The Unexpected Social and Economic Consequences for Women and Children in America.

Weitzman’s 1985 tome claimed that postdivorce women and children suffer on average a 73 percent drop in their standard of living, while the divorced men’s standard of living increased by 42 percent. Years later, Weitzman acknowledged a math error; the actual difference was 27 percent and 10 percent, respectively. But Braver says even that figure is based on severely flawed calculations. Weitzman and other social scientists ignored men’s expenses—the tab for replacing everything from the bed to the TV to the house—as well as the routine costs of helping to raise the children, beyond child support. Even the tax code favors women: Not only is child support not tax deductible for fathers, but a custodial mother can take a $1,000 per child tax credit; the father cannot, even if he’s paying. As “head of the household,” the mother gets a lower tax rate and can claim the children as exemptions. If the ex-wife remarries, she is still entitled to child support, even if she marries a billionaire. Indeed, every year men are actually thrown in jail for failing to meet their child-support obligations. In the state of Michigan alone, nearly 3,000 men were locked up for that offense in 2005.

But for many men, the real pain isn’t financial, it’s emotional: “Men depend on women for their social support and connections,” says Buckley. “When marriages end, men can find themselves far more alone than they ever expected.” In a large-scale Canadian survey, 19 percent of men reported a significant drop in social support postdivorce. Women are customarily the keepers of the social calendars, and all that is implied by that, providing for what University of Texas sociologist Norval D. Glenn calls the ­“intangibles” that can create much of a man’s sense of place in the world. More often than not, wives send out the Christmas cards; they stitched that cute Halloween costume their daughter wore in second grade; they recall the names of the neighbors who used to live two houses down. The men who bear all these unexpected burdens do so alone, in a strange place, while their ex-wives and children live in the houses that used to be theirs. For an ex-husband to enter that house can feel like trespassing, even though it was paid for with his own money, or sometimes, built with his own hands.

Long before his wife came along, a frame-store owner named Jordan Appel, 55, had built a fine house for himself atop West Newton Hill in one of the fancier Boston suburbs. He loved bringing in a wife and then adding two children. “It felt so wonderful to say ‘my wife’ and ‘my children’ and feel part of a community.” He volunteered for the preschool’s yard sale; his wife took up with a lover. Sometimes she slept with him in Appel’s own house; in time, she decided to divorce Appel. As these things go, he was obliged to leave the house, and, as it happened, the community too. Money was so tight that he ended up sleeping in a storage room above his frame shop two towns away. His ex-wife works part-time on the strength of Appel’s child custody and alimony payments, and spends time with her boyfriend in Appel’s former house. She lives rather well, and he has to make $100,000 a year to support her and the children, which amounts to 70-hour workweeks. One day, he went back to his house and discovered many of his belongings out on the sidewalk with the trash. “My body feels like it’s dissolving in anger,” he says. “I’m in an absolute rage every single day.”

“What are five of the biggest stressors a human being can face?” asks Ned Holstein, MD, executive director of Fathers and Families, a Massachusetts-based reform group for divorced dads. “One: the death of a child. Two: the loss of a spouse. Three: the loss of a home. Four: a serious financial reversal. And five: losing a relationship with a child. All of these except the first are combined in a father’s experience of divorce. People always think the man is a lone wolf and he can take care of himself. Well, he’s also a human being, and people don’t think through what that means for men.”

As hard as such deprivations are on the psyche, they can be devastating to a man’s health. Recently divorced men are nearly nine times more likely to commit suicide than their female counterparts, according to a study by sociologist Augustine Kposowa. “It’s not so much the loss of money,” he says, “but the loss of children that propels men to suicide.” Or it could be a combination. Infuriated by his obligation to pay child support for three children he rarely saw, Perry Manley snuck a hand grenade inside a federal courthouse in Seattle last year and was shot to death by security personnel after they spotted it. The death was termed “suicide by cop.” Kposowa has also detected an increased incidence of motor-vehicle accidents among divorced men, either due to a lack of concentration, sleeplessness, or, more darkly, suicide “cloaked as an accident,” he says.

Compared with married or single men, divorced men are nine times as likely to be admitted to the hospital, to report difficulties at work, or to suffer significant depression. According to a study in the American Journal of Psychiatry, they suffer the effects of divorce with the intensity that their wives experience the death of a close friend. And they suffer physical maladies. “Their blood pressure goes up, and so does their cholesterol, and that drives up hypertension, heart disease, coronary artery disease, and peripheral vascular disease,” says psychiatrist Arnold Robbins, associate editor of the Journal of Men’s Health & Gender. Researchers at the Texas Heart Institute have noted that emotional stress can lead to a dangerous ballooning of the left ventricle, which they term “broken heart syndrome.” Says Dr. Robbins: “A lot of metabolic syndromes kick in too, like borderline and type 2 diabetes. There’s cirrhosis of the liver from too much drinking. Even prostate problems. It’s not a pretty picture.”

Scientists have recently come to some possible conclusions as to why this might be so. It may be as simple as a loss of being touched. James Coan, PhD, a psychologist in the departments of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Virginia, found that, for a husband, just holding his wife’s hand is enough to reduce the stress associated with the anticipation of pain. Regular sex helps insulate a man from chronic stress, and that can pay off in increased longevity: In a study of 1,000 middle-aged men by researchers at Queen’s University in Belfast, men who had sex at least three times a week had half the risk of heart attack or stroke of men who had sex less frequently.

Distressed by such facts, men’s groups are springing up around the country. “Think of it,” says Stephen Baskerville, president of the American Coalition for Fathers and Children, in Washington, D.C. “A father could be sitting in his own home, not agreeing to a divorce, not unfaithful to his marriage vows, and not abusive, and the next thing he knows, the court has taken his house, his children, and a lot of his money, and then forced him to pay his wife’s legal fees and even her psychologist’s fees. And he can be threatened with jail time if he resists.”

So, how to avoid Sudden Divorce Syndrome? One way, of course, is to avoid marriage. Another way is by working on your marriage when it can still be salvaged. Statistically, end-stage marriage counseling is rarely effective, despite what the counselors might say. Instead, husbands might be wise to pay attention to the essential ratio that—according to John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned researcher of marriage stability—governs marital success or failure: five to one. That means husbands (and wives) should direct at least five positive remarks or actions to their spouses for every negative one. Any less and the marriage is in trouble. Or, following the much-admired work of Howard Markman, PhD, who holds couples workshops (, husbands should attune themselves to their wives’ “bids”—for attention, for affection, for all the things that sustain a relationship—and do their best to provide for them. In truth, husbands are not built for the demands that wives often place on them; they are less inclined to talk things out or to display emotion. But then, marriage isn’t easy for either party. When a wife wants out, it is usually not out of selfishness or senseless cruelty. Sometimes the love simply runs out. Husbands should do what they can to keep that love alive. That way, they might hang on to the many delights that marriage affords and spare themselves the countless horrors that divorce can bring.

But such advice comes too late for the many men like Martin Paul and Jordan Appel, who have already fallen victim to the syndrome. For them, the best, and perhaps only, cure will be time—time to forge a new relationship that can undo the ravages of the previous one. After all, most divorced men, like most divorced women, do remarry. A second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience, yes, but it’s the best chance to restore the health and security that so cruelly has been taken away. Even without remarriage, the overwhelming sense of upheaval will gradually fade if the men can only persevere. And, in time, the experience will evolve into a memory that, however bitter, yields a gift of wisdom.

Read Her Seven-Year Itch.
To analyze the state of your union, read Marital Diagnostics.

Anonymous said...

You have a flair for writing like few I have encountered, and it would be a shame to lose you again. You'll occasionally hit dry spells; that's the norm. But, don't disappear again. Your comments are simply to valuable to too many people. I don't know if you realize the impact you have had. I referred MANY men to your site, and it was a damn shame when you went away.

So true. Duncan is a breath of fresh air.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Christopher from Oregon (a well-known MRA activist). Don't disappear again, Duncan. Your comments are so valuable to many people.

Anonymous said...

Duncan, Masculist Man has been put in trollsville by Chris Key at his forum. There were only ever a small number of libertarian minded men in the mrm, you, Fred, Angry Harry and Hawiian Lib. Please go to Masculist Man's 2 blogs to read about this situation and please make a post defending his right to freedom of expression, and that no real mra has the right to suppress it. I hope you do the right thing, please do not ignore my comment by not responding to it.

Anonymous said...

dear Bachelor, please read this self deluded garBage: even if a woman cheats she is a victim.

He has no idea she's miserable. Or that she has slept with another man.
As told to Best Life
Page: 1 2

He doesn’t read.

It’s not that he isn’t smart. He is, but he’s not educated, and he’s not curious. He wants to talk about how we’re adding on to the house, and all the decisions that go along with that, and, “When we retire, do you want to buy a Winnebago?” I want to talk about global warming. It’s about conversation and—I hate to say it—intellect. Our conversations about anything are pretty short.

He’s a very good husband in terms of sharing household responsibilities. He does laundry, he helps cook, he’ll do all the normal, manly outdoor chores. He’s a loving dad. We don’t argue. He’s someone I truly admire and think of as a wonderful person, but I don’t think we are right for each other.

We’ve been married for seven years. If I’m truthful, I had some doubts when we were dating. Then a close friend of mine died. That trauma made me question what I wanted in life, and this man cared for me and adored me. I was going for something I thought was good for me. He’s offered me stability, both emotionally and practically, in buying a house and having money. Now I feel stable but uncreative.

I want him to have his own life, to be interested in things outside of me and our child. He has a few interests, and he’s trying to develop them, but he doesn’t have a lot of friends, so he’s needy and dependent. He says, “If you’re happy, then I will be happy.” There’s a weird pressure in that statement. It’s selfish: I have to be happy so that he can be happy. It doesn’t matter if I’m happy for me.

And, okay, can I tell you this? We haven’t kissed in a long time, other than just a peck on the lips: “See you tonight.” When we physically do the deed, it takes care of the basic needs, but I don’t feel passionate about it. It’s that lack of creativity and imagination. If I found him to be a stimulating person, perhaps I could kindle more passion.

This idea of leaving him has been in my head for a couple of years. There was no event between the two of us. I think it started with me. I worry that he’d be so angry that he’d somehow try to keep me from my child. But I am naively hopeful that this would be amicable. I am concerned about money, but we’ve worked really hard to be in this place with our finances. I have these weird thoughts, like, We’ve hired an architect, and in April, we’re supposed to start adding on to the house. If something’s going to change, I don’t want to be in the middle of that process, spending all that money.
And then, just recently, I had an affair.

The man was someone I had met and known and been attracted to. He’s smart in ways my husband isn’t. I’d never thought about acting on those feelings, but I was away from home and a big group of us went out for cocktails. I had the chance and a few drinks. I was curious. I wanted to know, If I slept with someone else, would it be a big deal?

It was the best f--king sex I’ve had in years. This man touched me in places I never let my husband touch me anymore. It was sweaty and passionate and awesome. It wasn’t just the sex; it was that the person I was with, I wanted to be with. The experience has made me feel like perhaps there are other people in the world I would be compatible with. But I would leave my husband for myself, not for another man.

And yet I don’t know if it has pushed me toward one decision or another. I’m back in my normal life, where I don’t know how to broach the subject of “Are we happy?” I need to find a way to tell him I’m not happy and ask if he’s willing to try some counseling. But I feel like I already know. I would hope having a counselor sitting there would make it easier for me to say, “This just isn’t working for me. And I’m leaving.”

This woman has everything she could reasonably dream of, and is still unhappy and makes her husband responsible.

You cannot make modern westernized women happy over the long-term.

Anonymous said...

Women are in denial about the evil violent nature of women. They kill babies by the tens of millions and then they make ridiculous statements and try to shame men. Women are in denial about how violent they are towards human beings. When are they going to wake up and take responsibility that societys' breakdown is their fault. Men have empathy towards life and women have no feelings towards anything but themselves. All of their actions are based on feelings not rational thought. That's why most women have the maturity level of little girls most of their life. Women are the problem. They do nothing but use their looks and sex to manipulate men to get whatever they want. They know nothing about dignity, maturity, class, selflessness or compassion towards life. Women are disgusting whores their whole lives and go after the bad boys who treat them like shit. Then when they get dumped enough times they decide to find some stupid beta male who they don't respect to finance their lives and be their slave for the rest of their life. Wake up you disgusting hags. Men have figured you out. You weren't oppressed for centuries. You were taken care of by men. Men built the homes you lived in. Men created the material things in your life. It's men that have been oppressed. Millions of men have died in wars while women stayed home and cleaned the house and cooked. How about paying homage to all the men who died on the battlefield for you. Instead you group together in the millions now to bad mouth men who are taught to jump in front of a bullet for you. You sick disgusting pigs. I really wish the grim reaper will meet you at the gates of hell (because that's where most of you are going) and when you realize that you are going to spend the rest of eternity in hell, think of me laughing my ass off.

Anonymous said...

In a major forum about men's rights, a woman who claimed to be faithful to support men's causes etc., now said that she divorced her husband with which she has 2 children.

It is utterly unbelievable. Do not trust women, they lie and change their minds.

Anonymous said...

“Men interpret a woman’s lack of complaining as satisfaction."

So if a woman does not complain, she is unhappy.

How do you know when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

How do you know a woman is unhappy with the relationship?
She stops complaining.

Anonymous said...

I was thinking recently about Why women shouldn't be allowed to vote.

Thought I run this by y'all:

Let's say we have a society of 200 people. 100 men and 100 women. In this society, only men are allowed to vote. Let's say that of those 100 men, 75 are men and 25 are manginas. Well, the 75 men override the mangina votes and we therefore have a society run by men. The way it should be. Now, let's say the women start making a stink saying they want the right to vote. After an endless bout of shaming, nagging, complaining, bitching, etc., the men give in and finally say okay, let's allow the ladies to vote. So the men are thinking, there's 100 men and 100 women. That's a 50/50 split let's see how the voting turns out. If there's a tie, we'll make a rule that men win in a draw. Well, what the men failed to realize is that it's not 100 men & 100 women voting. Once they gave women the right to vote, the manginas left the side of men and joined the side of women. So, now the equation is (100 women + 25 manginas) vs. 75 men. The men lose on every vote. 125 women & manginas will always defeat the votes of 75 men. Once they gained power, they used it to control men. This is why we are in this shit feminist mess and is why men should never give women the right to vote. It's not because of the women, it's because of the manginas selling men out.

Wrong? Right?

Anonymous said...

"Where have all the men gone?"

asks a 37 year old single mother, who has a "career".

All men are married, gay or addicts she says.

I wonder why she has no husband....

Anonymous said...

This woman wants to be kissed by YOU!

Why is everyone refusing?

Anonymous said...

check out this cunt;

Anonymous said...

wayne rooney gets married!

His Bride is a shopaholic and lives in his 3 million dollar mansion.

Divorce is coming!

zed said...

Gold digging 101

"Bienvenida is firmly of the belief that it is a man's duty always to pay for the lady."

Where one goes to find a "lady" in today's Britain is a good question, but this woman who has destroyed one man's career and is on her third husband wants to make sure that if a man does find one, that he has to pay, and pay, and pay, and pay...

Outcast Superstar said...

Glad to see your back Duncan!

Today I just updated my blog since late July.

Although I spend most of my time now on Happy Bachelors Forum which can be found at

Anonymous said...

"He is intimidated by another professional woman!"


Anonymous said...

To anonymous 14:34 on women and mangina voters verses the rest of us:

Welcome to American politics where two wolves and one lamb vote on what to have for dinner.

Anonymous said...

Anon 23:40;

I was somewhat disillusioned when our beloved Duncan shut down, and only stopped by the internet to check out a few blogs now and then, in particular Christian J, seemingly the only active site left.

I have been quite busy in my personal life, and have been instrumental in changing the outlook on women and marriage for quite a number of men, including my best friend. He is now a committed bachelor, misogynist, and user-and-abuser of women.

I have passed out many copies of "The Predatory Female" to young men I am acquainted with at work, and have been at least partially responsible for the break-up of several "relationships".

I preach my message of contempt for women as often as possible, and have been refining my methods. It actually works. Most men, single or otherwise, are starving to hear the truth about women. I simply tell them what they already knew in their hearts, but were afraid to say it aloud. I help bring it all together for them.

But, I am delighted that Duncan is back. I hope he makes available all of his old articles, as I will copy off the rest of the ones I missed before he shut down. Some truly priceless stuff there.

Hmh said...

Anon 6:02 - I've posted this earlier, but I've something similar to your article. A mate of mine, when he was younger and working as a builder's apprentice, got kissed a nice day at work by his girlfriend and came home to find a squad car in the driveway. She'd taken an emergency ex-parte protection order out against him and he got turned away from his flat with the clothes on his back. Spent the next week on a mate's couch. The same girl then wouldn't let his friend into the flat to collect his stuff... she simply kept it. He had a bit of bad luck with women later as well but the first bit really did it.

Here's a quick recipe that any modern woman can cook up: take a nice, normal, and fairly decent guy. Get a real bitch into his life and let her fuck his life up. Bingo! Instant mysogynist.

Anonymous said...

Duncan's archives can be found here:

Stephen said...

This is a great sight. I'm proud to see men waking up to the truth about women. I graciously add more fuel to the fire with this:

Stay on your guard, men.

Anonymous said...

I remember when I was in my teens I was friends with this one female. She was resonably good looking. And to say the least, she was about a 5 or a 6 on a 1 to 10 scale. I had a crush on her but she only had designs on my computer hacker knowledge (this was FYI about 17 years ago). Needless to say, after she got what she wanted, she ended up shagging some guy who worked at a local software store just to obtain credit card carbons out of the stores trashcan. I was quickly punted for this guy. Once she got what she wanted from him and discovered her vagina made her popular she started shitting over everyone in town and making a complete ass of herself. Fast forward to today. She was 16 years old back then, she's now 33 and single, her looks are gone, she's got that dumpy look to her. Guess she's going to be another in denial woman who thinks she's owed a good man. Simple fact is, the good men in her life had been chased off by her. She only has herself to blame for being single at 33 and for all I care she can have 10 cats.

I have to thank one of my friends for pointing her out to me as I never cared much to ever look her crap up. I was kind of hoping she was hit by a freight train full of dodo birds. Of course, that never happened but I'll settle for hearing she's a spinster anyday, oh and she's a carear chick too with a PhD. All she has to do is tell some badboy she'll be his suger mama if he shags her used up cunt and sagging tits.