Friday, 28 December 2007

The evil men that say

Now doing porridge is PC as sexist jokes are barred in jail



It's enough to make that old lag Norman Stanley Fletcher choke on his porridge ... prisoners have been banned from sharing "sexist" jokes.

Jail bosses say such quips could give the impression that women are "overly talkative" and "nagging."

There is even a danger it could turn convicts to a life of crime, they say - since some lawbreaking stems from men having a "negative" view of the opposite sex.


Well, that's it my fellow Brits, we can now look forward to a reduced rate of crime and a dramatically reduced recidivism rate, because violent muggers, armed robbers and gangland killers will spill forth on parole with substantially reduced malevolent urges and an increased desire to obey all social and moral codes, thanks to not being exposed to sexist...

Shit, this crap is so damn stupid, I feel undignified to have even attempted to bother hurling sarcastic remarks at it.

37 comments:

Schpengle Carrot-Tripe said...

ah ha!
you's back!

'bout time too, I tried leaving a coomment on that daily mail rant about invisible men too.....
wrote ever so eloquently, whilst wondering why it had no comments,
then posted the random authentication letters.....
and again
and
again.....
i wasnt allowed to leave a response to her infantile rant.
I wonder why?

ah nuts who cares, its gone mifnight and im studying for, hopefully a new webby job thing, so sod 'em!

:D happy xmas, and new year and heres to more
"Humiliation" and
*Head Shot!!!"s

haha
hope they have fun unwrapping thier cats presents.....the ones they wrapped a few days previous so they could share the thrill!
right

cheerio! :)

Martin said...

What do you expect when the Director of the Prison inspectors is a woman?

Good old Anne Owers. Another crusty old leftie.

Anonymous said...

Once married women change greatly.
Do not marry them and they stay friendly.

http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/rnr/518668838.html

Free WIFE for any wealthy idiot

Are you seeking a woman that knows how A)to shop and buy all the crap you never needed or will use, but get a "bargain" on it that she just could not pass up. B) talk on the phone for hours, to the point where your own friends, and even some of hers dread calling or answering her calls if they do not have at least 20 minutes to an hour and a half to listen to her do what she does best of all...COMPLAIN and C) complain and bitch about anythng and everything.

If you feel your life is lacking a spouse I have the answer for you. I hope your a doctor and have GREAT medical insurance because this model loves to have an ailment to complain about... to the tune of 40+ medical visits per year. If it is not an immune deficiency, or allergy to mold or dust, it is some form of cancer or other life ending condition that she cannot wait to have diagnosed. She has had enough blood drawn this year alone to fill a bathtub and then some.

Once actually married, you can listen to her gripe about every piece of laundry you create, every dish you dont put in a dishwasher, every time you walk up the steps without taking up any of the loads of crap she must stack on the steps. Remeber to push your chair under the table or hear about it. Look forward to hearing about every little thing any neighbor has done to their home. (BTW, our house is 1 acre valued at 650,000.00 furnished, maybe more)

Each morning gets started with a complaint, as does each greeting when you return home from work 12 hours later. She stopped working after the engagement. Prior to that she could not wait to clean & cook, now it is just another thing to complain about. Expect a cooked meal 1 time a week , with potential re-heat of same dish 2 more times. All other meals are the stuff you pick-up. The gym she went to prior to marriage is now something she just drives by. Memberships go unused, but you get to listen to her complain about not being in shape or heavier than she ever was (she is 120 lbs!)

Get used to her complaining about you working on the computer as you run a family owned global business that supports her unlimited shopping. Oh yeah, she gets to complain about your mother countless times, and check by phone to insure your direct deposit hits the bank as though it were the most important thing on earth, shy of our only child.

Let's see, what other things have I missed, of yeah, the wonderful comments such as "you know where the front door is" and "your nothing more than a paycheck" .

So if you want her, let me know... MERRY FRIGGIN CHRISTMAS. as soon as my 5 year old is off to college (if I can hang in there that long) I am so far gone, at any cost.

Anonymous said...

MIT Course on Feminism:

http://tinyurl.com/yaa9ax

Check out the picture: "Red Riding Hood's mother warned her about the patriarchy."

Every aspect of American Life is infected by this disease known as Feminism.

Anonymous said...

So when are you going to restore the old posts from the pre-Wales period? We want to read the blog in its entirety; some of the old posts (and their comments) are classics and need to reach your new audience.

nigeles175d said...

The previous incarnation of Eternal Bachelor is archived here: http://eternalbachelor.wordpress.com

Anonymous said...

Archives are here:

http://eternalbachelor.wordpress.com/

Mike Hunter said...

I have a few more:

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice!

Whats the smartest thing that's ever come out of a womans mouth? Einsteins cock!

Anonymous said...

If the inmates tell sexist jokes, do they get sent to jail?

Anonymous said...

I have to echo the question about the pre-Wales postings. I would like very much to see them so I can copy off the one's I missed before. I added many of them to my files, as they were truly priceless.

Christopher from Oregon

Anonymous said...

I know that the old posts are located at http://eternalbachelor.wordpress.com. I want to see the blog as one seemless piece. New visitors will also not know about the wordpress archives.

Anonymous said...

Drunken New Year one-night stands will bring record number of abortions

http://tinyurl.com/2cna95

Anonymous said...

Possibly if we keep nagging at Duncan he will make them available....?

Nick Naime said...

Q: Why do feminists have hairy upper lips?

A: So you know exactly where to punch them.

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable!

Victim of false rape claim must pay £12,500 for bed and board in jail

http://tinyurl.com/37d24w

Anonymous said...

I work for a Canadian TV station as a graphic designer, we ran an interesting story today. It was fairly short, but a fellow over on that side of the water wrote comments that British women are generally less appealing than they used to be, and it's caused such a stink he's half seriously/half jokingly said he should buy a one way ticket to the US. It was edited fairly well, every time a woman was on talking about how they'd laugh at him or mock him, it would cut to an overweight woman wearing skimpy clothes drinking and falling down in the street. Ah, devine justice.

Anonymous said...

Hilary Clinton has lost the Iowa primary caucus and will probably loose the New Hamprshire primary as well.

She appealed to the feminist filth but ordinary women rejected her dogma as did all right thinking men.

Women can never make leaders because they are not trusted nor trustworthy.

Schpengle said...

hey Dunc, enjoy this mate, sorry its a bit big but my mate read it out in our (male only) office....
I laughed my arse off and begged him to send it to me.....
hee hee hee, oh the irony!
id love to! :p

k, happy new year, and feel free to chop this out if you wish, but as long as you have a laugh out of it,
cya

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

Men, forward this if you have BALLS

Schpengle said...

hey Dunc, enjoy this mate, sorry its a bit big but my mate read it out in our (male only) office....
I laughed my arse off and begged him to send it to me.....
hee hee hee, oh the irony!
id love to! :p

k, happy new year, and feel free to chop this out if you wish, but as long as you have a laugh out of it,
cya

When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.

Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.


Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, forward it anyway.

Men, forward this if you have BALLS !!!!

MikeT said...

Woohoo!!
You're back Duncan.
Great stuff.

Hmh said...

This rule may not actually be all that stupid, after thinking about it. Of course crims are now going to tell each other the filthiest jokes they know or can think up, and compete to do so without the warders catching them. They'll be doing this instead of formenting dissent, plotting escapes or rioting to kill Wing 13. From that perspective, if it was done deliberately, it's not actually too dumb.
But then I might be assigning them a lot more intelligence than is actually there. In the meantime, here's some more evil that men say:

An elderly couple are pulled over by a cop in Adelaide. The old man in driving, his slightly hard-of-hearing wife beside him. The cop comes up to their window.
"Are you aware that you were speeding, sir?"
"What'd he say, dear?"
"He says we were speeding, dear. Sorry Officer, no, we we didn't know."
"You were doing 58, sir."
"What'd he say, dear?"
"He says we were doing 58, dear. Sorry, officer, we're not locals and forgot the speed limit."
"Not locals eh? Where are you from?"
"What'd he say, dear?"
"He'd like to know where we're from, dear. We're from Christchurch, officer."
"Christchurch eh? I was there once. Had the worst root of my life there."
"What'd he say, dear?"
"He thinks he knows you, dear."

Anonymous said...

Has anyone read this blog? It is genuinely funny and it is written by a woman.

http://jezebel.com/

Anonymous said...

http://ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/Political-Science/17-007JSpring-2006/CourseHome/index.htm

Course Highlights
This course features a complete list of readings as well as essay topics and all homework assignments.
Course Description
This course is designed as a focused survey of feminist political thought and theory, exploring the various and often competing ways feminists have framed discussions about sex, gender, and oppression. Beginning with a consideration of key terms (sex, gender, oppression) and the meaning of social construction, we will move on to study three central feminist approaches to political thought (humanism, gynocentrism, and dominance). The primary goal of this course is to familiarize students with key issues, questions and debates in feminist theory, both historical and contemporary. This semester you will become acquainted with many of the critical questions and concepts feminist scholars have developed as tools for thinking about gendered experience.




When feminists define oppresssion the result is that women were oppresed when men had to work, go to war and remain on a sinking titanic.

Feminism is illogical. Feminists are not capable of logical thought.

Outcast Superstar said...

Hi Duncan

Just to let you know I just put five of my favorite pieces you wrote before deleting your blog, into my blog yesterday.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiAw7WeuLr8

Sex and the City. The insanity of these women is unreal. Wait till 3:30 they talk about the stock market...

There are many many women who love watching sex and the city. Imagine all these women have no clue about money and real life.

Anonymous said...

Divorce and decline of societies:


It was said that during the height of the Roman Empire, that women married intending to divorce, and divorced intending to remarry. The state tried to force men to marry women to stave off declining birthrates, but the men back then decided to go their own way, and wouldn't touch the women.
http://no-maam.blogspot.com/



Duncan, THIS is not about great Britain in 2008, it is about Rome in 200 AD.

http://www.worldwideschool.org/library/books/hst/roman/TheDeclineandFallofTheRomanEmpire-4/chap27.html

The warmest applause has been lavished on the virtue of the Romans, who abstained from the exercise of this tempting privilege above five hundred years: but the same fact evinces the unequal terms of a connection in which the slave was unable to renounce her tyrant, and the tyrant was unwilling to relinquish his slave. When the Roman matrons became the equal and voluntary companions of their lords, a new jurisprudence was introduced, that marriage, like other partnerships, might be dissolved by the abdication of one of the associates. In three centuries of prosperity and corruption, this principle was enlarged to frequent practice and pernicious abuse . Passion, interest, or caprice, suggested daily motives for the dissolution of marriage; a word, a sign, a message, a letter, the mandate of a freedman, declared the separation ; the most tender of human connections was degraded to a transient society of profit or pleasure . According to the various conditions of life, both sexes alternately felt the disgrace and injury: an inconstant spouse transferred her wealth to a new family, abandoning a numerous, perhaps a spurious, progeny to the paternal authority and care of her late husband; a beautiful virgin might be dismissed to the world, old, indigent, and friendless; but the reluctance of the Romans, when they were pressed to marriage by Augustus, sufficiently marks, that the prevailing institutions were least favorable to the males. A specious theory is confuted by this free and perfect experiment, which demonstrates, that the liberty of divorce does not contribute to happiness and virtue . The facility of separation would destroy all mutual confidence, and inflame every trifling dispute: the minute difference between a husband and a stranger, which might so easily be removed, might still more easily be forgotten; and the matron, who in five years can submit to the embraces of eight husbands, must cease to reverence the chastity of her own person .


Insufficient remedies followed with distant and tardy steps the rapid progress of the evil. The ancient worship of the Romans afforded a peculiar goddess to hear and reconcile the complaints of a married life; but her epithet of Viriplaca, the appeaser of husbands, too clearly indicates on which side submission and repentance were always expected. Every act of a citizen was subject to the judgment of the censors; the first who used the privilege of divorce assigned, at their command, the motives of his conduct; and a senator was expelled for dismissing his virgin spouse without the knowledge or advice of his friends. Whenever an action was instituted for the recovery of a marriage portion, the prtor, as the guardian of equity, examined the cause and the characters, and gently inclined the scale in favor of the guiltless and injured party.




I never knew this. This is one of the reasons of the decline of rome. See how roman women behaved like they do today.

Anonymous said...

Duncan, you and your readers must read this one. Delusional!

A Woman's World
by Sara Sklaroff

http://tinyurl.com/2x77jw

Anonymous said...

This is an excellent article by Flashman's author, George MacDonald Fraser, attacking political correctness and explaining why Britian has gone down the tubes.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=506219&in_page_id=1770

Anonymous said...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=XXT4ICNFPBQ3TQFIQMFSFFWAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/news/2008/01/07/ndivorce207.xml

More than half of men believe the world is dominated by females and that they have lost their traditional role in society, according to recent research.

Asked what it means to be a man in the 21st century, more than half think that society tries to feminise them, turning them into waxed and coiffed metrosexuals, and 52 per cent say that men have to live according to women's rules.

The research also shows that just as many women feel their work-life balance has been stretched to breaking point.

Around 2,000 men and women were polled on the internet across 10 television regions for a survey commissioned by DMAX, a television entertainment channel.

Men say they "feel handcuffed" by political correctness - only 33 per cent feel they can speak freely and say what they think, whereas two thirds find it safer and easier to keep their opinions to themselves.

Anonymous said...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=EPO2U5CZRI4VVQFIQMFSFFWAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/news/2008/01/07/ndivorce107.xml

Divorce lawyers are expecting their busiest day of the year today as the pressure of Christmas and the New Year holidays finally blows rocky marriages apart.

Unhappy partners commonly cite infidelity, abuse, boredom and lack of sex as grounds for a split.

New year is busy time for divorce lawyers
A new survey found that almost one in five of all marriages was on shaky ground

And over Christmas - the peak time for cheating - a fling at the office party could provide prime grounds for separation.

Throw in family rows, financial worries, and disappointing presents, and the boom in New Year divorce proceedings means those in the marital profession are now branding today D-Day, or Divorce Day.

InsideDivorce.com, an online advice service, surveyed 100 British law firms, and 2,000 people who were either married, divorced or separated.

It found that almost one in five of all marriages was on shaky ground, with partners believing it could end in divorce.

Almost half of those surveyed said their sex lives had fallen flat, while one in 10 marriages was entirely sexless.

Suzanne Kingston, a family lawyer, said men or women often went to see a solicitor without their partner's knowledge, to try to find out about their options.

The "vast majority" of people who see a solicitor end up proceeding with a divorce at some stage," she said.

"Over Christmas people are spending longer periods of time together. There's more opportunity to argue.

"There is also the financial worry and the impact of relatives.

"And at New Year people often make resolutions and think about what they want for the future."

About two in every five people blamed a partner's affair for them contacting a lawyer, with almost half of all women citing infidelity as the main reason for marriage breakdown.

Fifty-four per cent of those said they discovered the affair themselves, one fifth of unfaithful spouses confessed, and four per cent were told by their partner's new lover.

The five major reasons given for divorce were:

• Infidelity 42 per cent

• Abuse 34 per cent

• Boredom 29 per cent

• Lack of sex 22 per cent

• Money 22 per cent

Anonymous said...

Another article for you to pick apart here Duncan.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,2233084,00.html

Hilarious comments section too.

Anonymous said...

Shows what women are really interested in: marriage, clothing, shopping a bit of glamourous career.

http://girl.com.au/
http://www.girl.com.au/bridal.htm

"When planning for your wedding day high on the agenda will be the dress, the hair, nails and make-up. But what about Botox, a chemical peel or dermal fillers?"

Imagine - women are now so old that they need botox when they marry!


By the way - the website empowers girls worldwide.

Anonymous said...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article3149002.ece

HULL A teenager who falsely accused a taxi driver of rape has been jailed after the man proved his innocence by producing a recorded conversation of her repeatedly asking him for sex.


Seonad Campbell, who has three A levels and hoped to go to university, ordered a taxi after becoming drunk at a party three weeks after her 18th birthday.



And these sluts go to college...

Anonymous said...

Women marry for money, here you have what we knew since the beginning of time.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/104157/Marrying-for-Love-of-Money

"Women in their 30s were the most likely to say they would marry for money (74%) while men in their 20s were the least likely (41%)."

"Asked how much a potential spouse would need to have to be money-marriage material, women in their 20s said $2.5 million. The going rate fell to $1.1 million for women in their 30s, and rose again to $2.2 million for women in their 40s. Ms. Smock and Russ Alan Prince, Prince & Associate's founder, both attribute the fluctuation to the assumption that thirty-something women feel more pressure to get married than women in their 20s, so they are willing to lower the price."


Women in their 30s are the most golddigging for obvious reasons.


"Of course, when the mercenary marriage proves disappointing, there's always divorce. Among the women in their twenties who said they would marry for money, 71% said they expected to get divorced -- the highest of any demographic. Only 27% of men in their 40s expected to divorce.

Says Mr. Prince: "For these women, it's just another step on their journey to the good life. They want to be paid what they think they're worth and then move on.""



See, 70% want money and 70% expect (or should we say plan) a divorce.

This sentence is interesting: "They want to be paid what they think they're worth"

Maybe they would be worth 1 million if they stayed wives, but if they divorce they are worth absolutely nothing.




Stay single, stay free and stay WEALTHY!

Anonymous said...

Multitasking women are now even too "smart" to buy handbags that are too big and do harm to their health:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119948772665368665.html?mod=yahoo_free

These bags cost up to 2000$ and women are buying them. After that they go to the doctor.

They could buy a good old rucksack, but it needs to be handbag.

Hmh said...

Oh, sorry to be pedantic... is the title for the post meant to be "The Evil That Men Say"?

Here's some more choice evil. Apologies if you've (quite likely) heard this one before.

"Motorbike for sale. Late model Suzuki GSX750R, goes like a rocket, beautiful condition. Low K's. Selling due to trouble at home. Apparently, "Do whatever the fuck you want" doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Contact Steve."

Hmh said...

Just a quick side note about the bride who had a lifesize cake (of herself) made for her wedding: I've just seen the article and read the comments... and there's kind of a ray of hope guys.

Most of the comments are from women. Nearly all of the comments take the piss out of her mercilessly. The best suggestion so far has been that the stripper who jumps out of the cake is actually the bride, mistakenly working the wrong address on her day job.