Saturday, 17 November 2007

On the buses


There was an amusing incident on the bus a couple of weeks ago.

I was on my way to work, sitting down near the front of the bus. I had a big fucking hangover. It felt like Andrea Dworkin was having sex with a rhino in my skull. Not cool.

The bus was packed and loads of people were standing in the aisle. Nearby was a woman in her fifties; not really old or frail, just not quite the prime of her youth. She is sort of the focus of this amusing incident but in fact she played no direct role in it. She was slightly forwards of me and facing away.

I was minding my own business and reading the paper when I felt a hand nudging my shoulder rudely. I swung my head round rather slowly and saw a young woman - amongst the many standing - looking at me.

"Maybe you can stand up and offer that lady your seat," she said, nodding towards the oblivious middle-aged woman.

She said it not in the form of a polite request but more of a demand, one put forth in the unmistakable shaming tone women employ when they want to pressure a guy into doing something chivalrous.

Like I said, I was a rather hungover, and the idea of opening my mouth to utter the word "No" was far, far too much effort. I just lazily stared at the young woman for a few seconds in silence, with half-closed eyes, then slowly turned my head back round and continued reading the paper.

"God, how rude," I heard the woman comment to her friend. They tutted and muttered softly amongst themselves for a while but I quickly tuned out and started doing the crossword.

It was rather funny. It's nice to take women - especially young and reasonably attractive ones - down a peg or two by not only failing to be chivalrous or accommodating but to barely even register their fucking presence, as if it is do them a massive favour by even looking in their general direction when they want something.

It also amused me that most of the people sitting down on the bus were men, whilst most of the people standing were women.

Just to prove I'm not a total shit, a couple of days later, incidentally, on the way home from work, an old guy hobbled onto the busy bus, and I didn't hesitate to stand up and offer him my seat.

14 comments:

MySpace Men's Movement said...

Bravo!

John Doe said...

The young lady is clearly not aware of the social contract of which chivalry represents only one half. Chivalry is not demanded by the beneficiary, and especially not by a third party. She complained that you were rude, but in point of fact she was the rude one both by putting you in an embarrassing position and then exacerbating it with complaints when you declined her, er, suggestion. I think it would have been entirely reasonable of you to point out that if chivalry is indeed dead then she has demonstrated that so too is ladylike behavior.

Mike said...

I ride the bus all the time. I've had a number of interesting encounters.

The worst by far was the female driver who told me she had two kids from two different men and was married to a third guy. She complained that one of her husbands cheated on her and thats why she left him. A few moments later she confessed that she was currently cheating on lucky guy number 3, who was apparently a nice guy and was ready to forgive her. Then she tried to tell me that she wanted to hook up with me. To which I responded, "This is my stop." Did I mention she was built like a hippo? Fuckin' A I'm glad I never saw that bitch again.

Hmh said...

Chivalry requires a lady worth being a knight in shining armour for. Some of my definitions of ladylike behaviour:
- maintains health, both physical and mental
- can handle five minutes of tough going without collapsing in tears
- can relate to men as human beings, and for bonus points, knows a thing or two about understanding them
- can be trusted, i.e. says something, it's her, therefore it's true
- is a mature grown up trapped in the body of a nubile beauty rather than the other way around!!
Sadly such women are in critically short supply. Meanwhile, Perceval got done for sexual harrassment, Gawain got nailed in a falsified date-rape charge, Lancelot got cheated on by Guinevere and lost the castle in the settlement and is now drunk in a hotel room somewhere, Galahad's holding down three jobs to pay for child support for kids he's never met because their mothers got his name out of the phone book and then wouldn't allow DNA testing, and well, gee, there don't seem to be any knights in shining armour left.

Anonymous said...

Women are demanding equality and have not earned it. They have obtained entitlements through theft. And wonder why Men refuse to protect them anymore? Get a clue Dumb Ass. Men no longer care about Women. Our treatment by them has and is being reciprocated. Deal with it.

Mike Hunter said...

I would have just replied:

"Maybe you can leave me the fuck alone while I'm trying to read my paper!"

But then again I can be an asshole who doesn't mind confrontation when the situation calls for it.

R said...

Damn right!

@hmh
LOL classic

Anonymous said...

Meanwhile, Perceval got done for sexual harrassment, Gawain got nailed in a falsified date-rape charge, Lancelot got cheated on by Guinevere and lost the castle in the settlement and is now drunk in a hotel room somewhere, Galahad's holding down three jobs to pay for child support for kids he's never met because their mothers got his name out of the phone book and then wouldn't allow DNA testing, and well, gee, there don't seem to be any knights in shining armour left.

Wonderful line!

phoenix said...

Good to have you back EB. There was no real danger of me caving, but reading your blog was always a huge support and eye opener for me.

As for this situation, maybe we should start segregating women. I mean they have their women only trains and waiting areas now apparently, so why can't we just refuse to allow them into areas too? That way they can all fight each other for seats. I guarantee you none of them give their seat up, whereas the men probably do.

NotNOW said...

My public acts of courtesy are now limited to the quite old, and other men. Should I catch a glimpse of an attractive woman walking my way, I ensure that I do not make eye contact or acknowledge her existence. This usually results in a hair toss or some other attractant, which also goes unacknowledged. If you concentrate your gaze about 10 degrees or so away from them you can enjoy the show. This is a repeatable experiment.

Pete Patriarch said...

I go as far as only offering my seat to men and about to kick it women.

Anonymous said...

I could write a book about shitty female behavior on buses but the following are 2 of my more interesting experiences:

Many years ago, I was sitting on a bus on a day so friggin’ hot that nearly every window on the bus was open. As fate would have it, things were about to get even hotter as a hot babe got on, sat right in front of me and closed the window between us without batting an eyelash and without saying a word!

I'm ashamed to admit it but I just sat there steaming like a chump on a stump without saying or doing a bloody thing.

The truth is, I was so surprised by her rudeness that by the time I had "analyzed" the situation and decided that I should have just immediately reopened the window, rightly or wrongly, I felt that it was too late to respond appropriately. A classic case of woulda, coulda, shoulda.

I did however, promise myself that I would be ready if the same situation ever presented itself again in the future.

Fast forward a couple of years and another cunt gets on the bus and does the exact same thing but this time, without missing a beat and without saying a word I immediately reopened the window.

The bull dyke must have been ovulating some seriously sized eggs because almost immediately, she turned around a second time and closed the window again(!) – Not to be outdone however, I immediately reopened it except this time, I pulled it open as far as it would go.

She turned around again and this time just glared at me but the daggers shooting from her eyes must have been no match for the ones coming from my eyes because she quickly turned around and opted to change “strategies”.

In a typically female but futile attempt to shame me because she wasn’t getting her way, the plus sized pig proceeded to dig out a sweater from her sac and put it on as if to imply that the reason she repeatedly closed the window was because she was cold – as if she wasn’t already packing enough bacon to keep her ass warm.

As any frequent transit commuter knows however, being cold is not the primary reason why cunts either close or refuse to open windows during the dog days of summer.

The truth is of course, that these narcissitic bitches would rather let everybody else on the bus die of heat stroke than to have the wind from an open window mess up their cum stained hair.

This 30 second event which transpired without the exchange of single word is just further proof that so many of these useless excuses for human beings have absolutely no manners whatsoever.

The ironly is that I’m not an unreasonable bloke; if she would have asked (politely), I wouldn’t have minded switching seats with her which would have allowed the wind to still circulate without it messing up her hair.

But no, the typical “Miss Itsallaboutme” is so fucking arrogant and so obviously not used to anyone standing up to their sorry asses that they carry on as if they really do believe that they are alone on the planet.

Moral of the story: stand your ground with these bitches and whenever possible do it without saying a word because NOTHING enrages cunts more than acting as if they don’t exist - especially the hot ones who just aren't used to being ignored.

Unless I absolutely have to or unless I'm out “clubbing” to drag a warm piece of ass back the cave for a serious pounding, I completely ignore cunts both in person and on the net.

On a side note, ignoring cunts at work is not an advisable strategy because so many of them are so insanely insecure and so viciously vindictive that they’ll make it their pet project to destroy your job / career / life if at all possible, so it’s best to be at least civil with them.

To modify a popular saying; Hell hath no rath like a filthy cunt ignored. Tuff luck bitches, as long as you’re not a wife, girlfriend or coworker, there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it.

All this to say Duncan, welcome back - your pre break bloggin’ was not in vain.

Uzem & Luzem

Jonas said...

All you have to say is: "BUT I DONT WANT TO INSULT THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT."

This is an ingenious way of putting the ball back in their court. If they're feminist, then their mantra "equality" demands you not give up your seat.

If they are not a feminist, then you are forcing them to take a stand publically, by disavowing the movement.

Naturally, all women are feminists, albeit many of them are the cafeteria/smorgasbooard variety in which you encountered.

Make no mistake, they want your seat AND your job.

Anonymous said...

One thing that I have to say about this is. Women in the anglosphere tend to think because they have a vagina they are entitled to everything every man has. Tough shit if they find out that doesn't always work. In life you don't always get what you always want or in this matter demand. Life isn't all about oneself but these pigs with vaginas we have certainly think that way.